Hypocrite
by Different Child
Summary: Life is full of ups and downs. The DiNozzo-David family is no exception. In fact sometimes it seems as though they are the rule. Watch their journey on the roller coaster that is life. Tiva with periodic McAbby. There is angst, fluff and much more.
1. Fight

**A/n**: Welcome to my first posted NCIS fic! I'm so glad to finally be writing one! This takes place after the Season 7 rescue. After that is it not cannon. I repeat – I went on my own after that. If you don't wanna read the rest then get to the story by all means! Just a dedication and a disclaimer ahead!

**Dedication**: Thank you to all of you who have replied to my numerous reviews instead of just ignoring me. XD You are my inspiration fellow writers. Though there is one in particular who's been a big help!

I have to dedicate this fic to **Anyonymous033**. Sophie you have been putting up with me for days! XD You have been giving me so many ideas, listening to mine and correcting me! Funny how this all started from one example…I'd like to dedicate my fic to her because I'm considering her my muse in this fic/series! I appreciate it so much!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own NCIS. If I did the season 8 finale would've been different.

* * *

><p>"I wanna learn to fight."<p>

Her mother turned at that. turned around, shocked at the statement, no demand. She hadn't been expecting this. Of course the issue had been brought up before but now of all times? Why now?

"No." She replied without hesitation, other than her thoughts. She did not want her child to be brought up in the same manner as she was. There was no reason for a child to learn to fight. Defending one's self was different of course. She encouraged her children to defend themselves but nothing more. Fighting was more.

"Why not Ima?" Lea, her twelve-year-old daughter protested. "It's a good skill to have! You and dad work for NCIS. Why are you saying no? You're being a hypocrite!" The soon-to-be teenager screamed at her mother. Funny enough she was right…but she did not quite know just how right or exactly why. That was yet to come…

"People could attack you at any moment or come after us! It's not like that didn't happen when Neri and I were little." She said, referring to an incident that had seriously made Ziva consider quitting.

"Lea why must you bring that up now? You are safe. I will protect you as will your father. I regret that heavily." She said, remembering the incident all too well. Several men had been under surveillance by NCIS. They were wanted for the murder of several naval officers and as Tony had explained to the children 'they were very bad men'. Upon realizing that they had children, the so named bad men kidnapped a young Lea and her older brother Neri. Amissa was a baby at that point and had been home with the babysitter. They picked up the older two as they were waiting to be picked up afterschool. Needless to say Ziva made sure it never happened again and the men were…dealt with. She shook her head. "It is not relevant to this conversation. You cannot win by distracting me with old memories."

"UGH!" She screamed. That was not the point – winning by distracting her mother. The point was well…to make a point. She'd been scared and she wanted to know how to defend herself…beyond what Ziva had agreed to teach her. She knew her mom had some 'ninja skills' as her dad always put it. She tried to pass it off as a long-standing joke but she knew it was more. She also knew how to find out what kind of more…with or without her Ima's help. "Come on! You said no to karate years ago! Remember?"

"I remember quite well. I told you it was too violent and there was no point in it." _And if you have training like that then you are much more predictable..._

"What I'm saying is Dad made you reconsider but you were still hesitant. So what'd you do? You put me in gymnastics and ballet instead. Why? To make me too busy for Karate! You got your wish. Sure I like it but damnit Ima don't I have a choice? You didn't give me one then but now? I'm almost thirteen! Treat me like it!"

Ziva paused. _A choice… _That's exactly what she didn't have growing up. And what was she doing now? She had forced her daughter into doing something she didn't want so she wouldn't be like her parents...But here she was doing just what her mother had done with her. She had chosen ballet yes but her mother pushed her to the point where she quit. That was not the only reason behind it but in this case?...Was it really what her daughter wanted? Did she really want to fight? Did she even know what fighting really was?

She did not want her children growing up in a world of violence. She did not want them surrounded by enemies. She wanted them safe, happy and normal. But as Tony once pointed out to her. Normal with them wasn't an option. She had done her best to prevent such things with her children and here her daughter was asking to learn to fight...Despite what she'd tried to do. What now? "Why doesn't parenting com with a guide book?" She asked herself as Lea stalked off to her room.

The eldest child of Tony and Ziva was frustrated with her parents, though her mother in particular. Dad was on her side sure but he was even a bit hesitant. He stood up to her mother but she'd caved after a point so she wouldn't hear her parents fight over her anymore. It wasn't what she wanted but it made mommy and daddy stop yelling. She knew that much. So she'd taken gymnastics and from there she got the idea of going into cheerleading. She was trying out in a few days.

That had driven mommy insane. She thought with a smirk. It was not something her mother knew how to deal with. Ziva was not the princess type as she once called Lea. That had sparked another argument as she snorted because she wasn't that way at all. Sure she was more feminine than Ziva but that didn't mean she was pink and frilly. And it didn't take much to be more girly than her Ima at some points. But seriously – her response was gag me. That left Ziva very confused as she was unfamiliar with that particular response. Tony later explained it. But in Lea's mind the girly stuff was Amissa's territory. Didn't her mother know her at all? Clearly not!

However, despite what Lea thought Ziva knew her daughter quite well. She knew that she was not pink oriented or tutus all the time. Sometimes she did not know what he daughter did want but she knew enough. It did not help that Lea could be a walking contradiction. She sighed when Lea accused her of not understanding or not being on her side. That is all she wanted to be! How could she make her see that?

Tony walked in to the house and the first thing he saw was frustrated Ziva, standing there, lost in her own mind. "Penny for your thoughts?" He asked half teasingly but mostly seriously, approaching her slowly. Coming up from behind without warning when she was like this meant getting himself flipped over and a knife or gun to the throat...at best...And she denied those ninja skills?

"It is Lea. Tony….She is…We are…We WERE arguing again. She is only 13 but she wants to fight! Can you believe this? She asks me to teach her hand-to-hand combat or knives or guns? Who knows what she means by fight! And I do not wish her to be surrounded by that. It will start with teach me a few more moves. Just to defend myself. Then it will turn into more and more and more…."

It was his turn to sigh this time. It wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence in the DiNozzo-David household. Lea and Ziva were very similar but different enough that it caused friction on both ends. He tended to be the peacemaker, which could result in getting headslapped by his wife and almost teenage daughter. He couldn't do anything about Ziva's…not if he wanted to live… but he didn't appreciate when Lea smacked him. Gibbs told her over and over again not to do it but sometimes she didn't listen. Sometimes Gibbs didn't correct her. He just told Tony to stop being stupid. Actually little did he know that Gibbs would correct her every time but he had to have a little fun, right? He'd wait till DiNozzo was outta the room.

Right now he knew exactly what was going through his wife's head right now: Her childhood. Eli had forced her to train at a young age and gave her no choice in the matter. She had quit ballet after her mother left and she was left with her father. Actually, it was before then. Which always led Ziva to wonder if she was part of the reason Rivka left them. At first she had taken them away from their father but she had gone back after a point. She had never known why but it was so. And then one day she was gone. That time they hadn't gone with her.

"Zee come on. It's not like that and you know it. Sure she's 12, almost 13 but I mean it could just be too many movies..." He said, trying to lighten the mood and make her smile. It was less often lately and that worried him. She used to smile for him or the kids. But now? Now it seemed like she was so tired or stressed. And this wasn't even the worst of it…

"She does not watch movies when not with you or her friends Tony. Mostly you." Ziva said, taking him literally in this state of mind. That and sometimes she STILL didn't know if Tony was kidding. Or rather she didn't bother to pay attention.

"Ok so she's like you and she's a bookworm. Can't deny that. Plenty of violence in books too. James Bond is a book series too. Though the movies are totally better." He said, giving her his signature DiNozzo grin.

She couldn't help but laugh at her husband's antics as she shook her head. But there was that word again...husband...it still gave her a jolt after all these years when thinking of Tony as her husband. It wasn't an easy path to get there...a rocky road he'd say, but it happened and here they were...5 beautiful children together.

...Well...4...but that was another story. She didn't want to think about that right now and decided that it was 5 after all. He was always part of their family. They were all such unique children…some more than others. Though that was not the point. She was thinking of him. He was as much Tony's as he was anyone's...other than hers. He had even accepted him as his own. He was the father listed on his birth certificate. He was the one who had given his name to the child despite the circumstances and his name. But it still hurt her to think of the circumstances of his conception...

No. Only happy memories now or at the very least focusing on the present which was necessary. Lea was a handful...a lot like her brother...That brother...What happened was terrible but it was wonderful what came from it. He came from it…and actually despite the tension it was he who brought them together. Her son was her world at first. Now he was one of several wonderful parts of her world and she wouldn't change that for anything. She loved her family for better and for worse. Her son needed to remember that as sometimes she wondered if he purposefully forgot...Afterall, she wasn't exaggerating when she said that he really did bring them together...

_Flashback_

* * *

><p><strong>An**: Yes I'm going to leave you with a cliffie for the first chapter! Why? To test the waters a bit. I want to see how this goes. Besides I wrote this free writing to my friend. Edited after of course but it started with one idea about what would happen and well…it grew. =33 I love it! I will continue with this for this fic and use the character(s) and situations for others if all goes well! Please R and R! : )

~ Different Child


	2. Flashback

**A/N**: Here's chapter 2! I replied to all reviews asap via PM because the reply link wasn't working! Hope everyone still got it…grrr. But I REALLY appreciate the great reviews and so fast too! I've got some great people writing to me and I'm happy to answer any questions ( that don't spoil things) and consider requests!

Sorry for the delay! Anytime I get 'me' time to write or something my host sister will come in and she doesn't leave me be! The language barrier prevents me from telling her to go away….I don't always mind but uh…she comes in when it's the only 'alone time' I get. Grrrrrr!

Thanks!

* * *

><p><em>Flashback<em>

Ziva sat on the couch, crying as if she had never cried before. That actually wasn't far off. It had been a long time since she had allowed herself such a cry. It was…a sign of weakness perhaps. That might be the best choice of words to describe how she felt about it. Gibbs said apologizing was a sign of weakness. She did not question such a thing. It was a given in Mossad. In Mossad you did not cry, you did not apologize or you did but…No. You were not to make mistakes. If you made mistakes you were punished. Punishments were severe and oftentimes mistakes cost you your life. Death is the ultimate punishment. Back then she did not care if she died in the line of duty. As she once put it: "All the good ones are dead at your age."

Though now…she had made a huge mistake. A mistake that now stared right back at her when she looked in the mirror. This mistake…it could cost her everything. It could cost her the people she considered family, her job, her freedom perhaps? She did not know what the consequences of said mistake were but she was vulnerable now and she hated it. There was something that they could now take away from her. She had never had to care for anyone other than herself. It was better that way. She was not suited for such things. She knew it. Of course it had made her sad upon occasion but it was a fact. There was nothing she could do to change it. But from this moment on…something would have to change…

She came out of her thoughts at the knock on the door. _Who on earth is out at this hour?_ She was off duty. Work ended hours ago and she had come directly home, not feeling up to socializing. She did not want anyone to see her like this. She gathered herself up and wiped her tears as she walked to the door. "Who is it?" She asked, prepared to shoo anyone away. Why would they come? Who would bother her now? She had no boyfriend, she had no old friends in country, her life was her work.

Tony was standing there on the other side, nervous. Ziva had seemed a bit off at work that day and he figured why not drop by to 'discuss the case' with some takeout and coffee. It would be a long night anyways if she were stressed. Company was good even if you didn't always want it. Plus he knew that she didn't have anyone else. Her 'family' was overseas, not that they did her any good…any childhood friends were either dead or on assignment who knew where, and the other people close to her? Well he was a part of them and they were working.

Of all the people she had playing through her mind, Tony was not one of them. He should've been given their history together but considering her current state of mind? She was not thinking clearly. She was tempted to tell him to go away – that she was sick, or remind him how many ways she knew how to kill a man. It worked before. Ok that hadn't worked in a long time but it might make him understand how she felt. But for some reason…she opened the door. She couldn't understand what compelled her to answer it but later…maybe she wouldn't regret it.

"What do you want Tony?" She asked, not as seductively or as fiercely as she normally would've.

That was Tony's next clue. Her behavior at work was the first. On most occasions she would've either jokingly flirted with him or threatened to kill him. Now she did neither. So she wasn't in a joking mood. He could do something other than joke. He was a versatile man. "Well I was gonna say I wanted you but I can tell you're not up for my witty repartee." He said, grinning and trying to make her smile or hit him, to see if she really was out of it. Besides…that wasn't far from the truth…

Ziva sighed. She was going to roll her eyes but she didn't even see the point in that. He thought he was funny. He loved making jokes. Could he ever be serious? Even a at a time like this when seriousness was something she had to face? "Tony if you do not have a purpose just go. Please." She said, her voice softer, gentler, sadder than normal.

Sad…Tony heard it in her voice. She was sad! Ziva, the ninja, was sad! He didn't see her emotions often. Even when they found her in Somalia and brought her back she did not show those emotions. It wasn't that long ago…maybe she was letting it out all along but just not in front of him? That thought killed him a little inside. After all she'd been through did Ziva not feel like she could share her emotions with them? With him of all people? He'd rescued her…he'd gone halfway across the world on a mission to avenge her death when he thought she was dead. But she hadn't been. Thank God she had been alive. He couldn't imagine life without her…

The ninja as Tony called her shut the door and sat down on the couch. Clearly she had been crying. Her face could not hide it. She was a trained assassin. She had been trained from a young age to control her emotions. Now she was in a situation, constantly in situations really, where she was expected to just spill. She did not know how to do this. She did not know how to just let loose. Tonight had been different. She couldn't keep it in anymore. It was like the dam just burst and let it all out against her will. She was fighting to build it back up just a little longer.

But that wouldn't happen and she knew it. Tony could see her eyes red and bloodshot from crying. She looked like she still wanted to. He couldn't help but walk over, all pretense forgotten and put his arms around her. "Zee what's wrong? Talk to me." He didn't know if it would work but he had to try._ Whatever's bothering her is big. She doesn't cry over the little things. The problem is I have no clue what this is…_

_If I tell him then he will hate me. He will not want me anymore. What am I talking about? We are not even together. He does not know I exist outside of the office…but…after…he said things. Did he mean them? _She couldn't hold the tears back any longer and they came out. It was like a flood. She couldn't hide forever. She knew that. Especially about this. It was only a matter of time before he found out…but now? Why did it have to be now?

DiNozzo wrapped his arms around her gently. "Zi whatever the problem is it'll be ok. You're not alone. We're here for you. McGrumpy, Gibbs, Abby, hell even Palmer's there for you." He said, again resorting to humor to try and perk her up. It was what he knew. It was how he coped.

"And you Tony?" She asked through the tears. "Will you still be there regardless?"

"Of course!" He said without hesitation. Though he did hesitate. He hadn't told her how he felt…if she was in love with another guy and he was going to play the 'good friend' again then he wasn't sure how well he'd be able to do it. Ziva'd had boyfriends before. Hell there was the whole Michael Rivkin incident before Somalia. When she'd gone back to Israel….o god. What if she'd met another man while she was there…and now she wanted to go back? He couldn't handle that…

Ziva David was many things. She was a strong woman. She'd always prided herself on that. She was fierce, athletic, often apathetic, and independent…but now? She didn't know what she was or what would become of the woman that had been. Somalia had done many things to her….Would she be able to do this? Would she be able to handle life now? "Will you really?" She asked hesitantly, shyly, unlike the 'old' Ziva that had existed before. "If you knew…would you stay?"

"If I knew what?" He asked cautiously. He didn't know what she was getting at. She was upset. What made her this way? What really led her to question if her partner had her back. "I've always got ya Zee. Don't hesitate. I'd do anything for you…"

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Tony I…" She stumbled over her words. She didn't know how to explain it. How to tell him what was wrong…_What can I do? _And then she thought about Tony and his incessant movie references and how she'd thought early on he must be a visual person. She'd show him.

Ziva held up a finger to signal one moment. The Israeli took a deep breath, wiped some of her tears away and got up. She slowly padded over towards the kitchen counter where she had something that would explain it to him. It was the only thing she could do short of saying it. Soon she walked back over as quietly as ever and handed it to him. "I think this will explain everything." She said, her voice quivering and the tears coming again as she handed it over. _He will leave. When he realizes what it says, what it means he will leave. One piece of paper will change everything. One stupid piece of paper._

* * *

><p>I'm terrible! I know. Blame Sophie she told me where to cut it off. But I am quite happy with how this has turned out! The flashback will continue next chappie. Don't worry! It's already written so it'll be out faster! Off to work on chapter four now! Please R &amp; R guys! Love ya~~~<p>

- Katie


End file.
